I know a guy who’s hurting himself,
Every inhale and puff,
Every injection,
Every inhale,
Sends him off to a world unknown,
A world with consequences.

I wish you were normal, or at least close to a sober, healthier lifestyle.
Not one that is destroying your once-bright future.
You were once a douchebag, and now you’re silent.
I miss that obnoxious douchebag… start talking!
Get outta those unknown worlds, get back down to reality.
You’re getting old… Please change.
Or else I’d have to look at your memorial ad in the newspaper…
and say “I knew a guy … “

I miss the old you.

- Vinsia Maharajah

I stand here all alone at midnight. Shovel in one hand and tea in the other. I was patiently waiting for the arrival of the snowstorm. I would be the first to clear my driveway. Yet as I stood all alone I wondered if I was ready for what was to come next. I had arrived from a country where it never snowed. I had never seen snow in my life. Except on T.V where the media talked about it all day as if you should not go outside because it could be deadly. Every radio station I turned to talked so much about that 15cm of snow they were expecting here in Toronto. One media report even had a time line of what time the snow was going to arrive and how much will be accumulated by morning and how messy your drive to work would be. I knew I was new to the country and didn’t know how to drive but what about all the other people? What excuse did they have to get into car accidents due to going too fast in these horrible snowstorms? I knew this was going to be my first experience with snow so I knew I had to make this moment last and make the best of it.

According to the media weather reports it was supposed to start snowing around midnight. Being new to the country it made me realize quickly that you shouldn’t believe everything you hear in the media. I stood there for half an hour and went back inside. I stood by my window a bit more just to make sure I didn’t miss my first snowfall. It was very exciting to me to see a snowfall after having lived 30 years and only having seen white sand beaches. I was just about to see a different type of white cover the ground. I heard many stories of this thing they called snow. I was told that I could make snow angels and snowmen. But oddly a snow angel is made on the ground and a snowman stands tall. It took me a while to figure that one out why an angel lay down as a man stood up. I guess it will all make perfect sense to me once the snow starts falling and I get out there.

It was around 3 in the morning when I finally saw what looked like rain coming down from the sky. I quickly threw on my jacket, boots, gloves, toque, and scarf and ran outside. There it was. It finally started snowing. But it was coming down so slow and it kept melting as it hit the ground. I got my shovel and salt ready expecting my 15 cm. I thought to myself how I would ever be able to make my snow angel and snowman in this so called snowstorm. Just when I had finished thinking that in my head it started snowing very heavily. I got this whole tingly feeling all over my body with excitement. I couldn’t believe that after 30 years I finally was able to see snow in person and feel it live. The excitement was overwhelming and there was no one around me to see me go wild. I took off my gloves to feel the feeling of snow. It was cold in my hands but the temperature outside was not cold. I knew I had to start shovelling soon or I would fall behind. I heard it was a back breaking, heart attack giving mission to shovel snow. I knew that according to the kids I work with that I had to wait for lots of snow before I could build a snowman. I knew I had to start with a ball and roll it around until it got bigger and bigger. I knew at the age of 30 it would have been difficult for me to build a snowman during the day outside my house. It is sad that the world is judgemental like that. I knew my neighbours would think I would be strange without understanding my background and where I came from.

I slowly started to shovel the snow by just gliding the snow back and forth without even lifting my shovel. I threw most of it onto my front yard where I knew I was going to make my snow angel. It was weird to shovel snow the most I have done is sweep sand. A police car drove by and slowed down and the officer inside the patrol car took his time to really stare at me. I guess it was abnormal to be shovelling your snow at 4 in the morning. Either it was that or it was my skin colour. But I have learned that in this country too many people use their skin colour as an excuse to get out of crimes they had unlawfully caused. But I was here to be my own man and take responsibility for my own actions and a criminal is something and someone I was not. I was a hard working man that did not want to be stereotyped. The officer rolled down his window, smiled and said good morning and kept on driving. I guess police officers are nicer than I thought. I guess coming from a country where the people did not trust many police officers it was hard to adjust to nice hospitality in this country. It was nearing 5 in the morning and I knew I had enough to make a snow angel. I walked over to my front lawn and lay down with my arms and legs out as I was taught. I started to put my legs together and back outward. Then I took my arms and I spread them out and in again. It was really cold laying there but seemed so peaceful and quiet.

It was beautiful to stare into the sky and watch the snow fall onto my face. I couldn’t figure out why people hated snow so much in this country. I got up carefully making sure that I did not ruin my masterpiece and there it was; it looked like an angle as I was told it would look like. It was a beautiful masterpiece I had just created. I went back to shovelling the snow in my drive way it was all so clean and nicely salted now. I had the best driveway in the whole neighbourhood. But I knew I didn’t have enough snow yet to build a snowman. I loved this beautiful thing called snow; I wish it were around longer. I went inside to go warm up a bit and use the washroom. I was so excited about my creation of the snow angel I had to show my wife. I went upstairs and woke up my wife. She was not happy being woken up at 6 in the morning. But I knew I had to show her my great job at shovelling the driveway and my snow angel. She just threw on a jacket and came outside with me.

When she came outside she was in shock and she gave me a big hug and held me tight. A hug I really needed because I was the one that got the bigger shock. She held me tight and said “I believe you, it’s ok you will get another chance”. I was speechless and didn’t know what to say at the moment. I felt like crying when she told me a man had come by in a snow plough truck. When he had ploughed the road all the snow from the road landed on my driveway and onto my snow angel. I couldn’t understand why he drove so fast to spray my front lawn and driveway – all that hard work I had done. All that shovelling I had done all night was ruined and a big mountain size of snow lay at the bottom of my driveway now from the plough machine. Now I finally understood why people hated the snow so much.

- Karan Sivalingam

Emerging after the light the Tiger is hungry for the fight
Stronger and wise she prowls in darkness and moonlight
Her wounds are healed and her scars are sealed
Stronger and wiser she prowls in darkness and moonlight
The demons of betrayal bow in her presence
The ghosts of pain worship her in reverence
Stronger and wise she prowls in darkness and moonlight


Krisna Saravanamuttu is a specialized honors Criminology student at York University. He is the National Executive Representative for the Canadian Federation of Students–Ontario. In this capacity, Krisna is responsible for representing the needs and interests of over 300,000 college and university students across Ontario to the National Executive of the Canadian Federation of Students. He works to coordinate the implementation of national campaigns and services within the province of Ontario. Previously, Krisna served three terms on the executive of Local 68–York Federation of Students; two terms as President and one term as Vice-President Equity.

Krisna has also been the Racialized Students’ Commissioner for the Canadian Federation of Students–Ontario and the Racialized Students Representative on the National Executive of the Canadian Federation of Students. Krisna was a member of the Task Force on Campus Racism, which sought to identify discrimination affecting racialized students on campuses across Ontario.

Krisna aspires to become a university professor in the field of critical criminology and human rights.

I’m stuck underneath this world
Please tell me will i be alright?
I know its been awhile,
But I’m yearning for just one last time.

Wishing I had more time to see
The family that always loved me.

But like all, I was blind.
Blinded by the love he never returned.

When I look back, all I feel is a heart that burned
Burned with angst.
Wish I could be the smart one to fallout of this battle.

Never knowing if he remembers me,
Never knowing if we were meant to be
Now, never know if this is how its suppose to be

I’ve lost myself to his love

With that beautiful smile

Now I’m just a soul in a dead body intertwine

I thought he’d be the one to walk with me,

Down the aisle.

The one who who’d hold me and say

Baby, i love you!

- Kathiyga Ulaganathan